Hormone replacement therapy (HRT)
The logic is fairly simple: I don’t give a shit what you name your player object. I don’t care how deeply you bury it in a closure. I don’t care what class you instantiate it from. At some point, you have to call .play(). And when you do, I’ll be waiting.
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Some of the later generations of Pokémon (well, later by the standards of someone who started playing in the 90s) introduced a bunch of little freaks who are more or less just mundane, inanimate objects with faces. These are some of my favorite Pokémon because it feels like whoever designed them was just glancing around the room, looking for anything they could anthropomorphize.
What infrastructure does this site use and is it secure?